dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
