The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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