My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
