if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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