I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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