just come out here and I will go home with you...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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