my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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