Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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