I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
