? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
