I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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