My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
