I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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