Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
