Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
