screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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