I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
