I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
