just come out here and I will go home with you...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
