More tranny stories later!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
