Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Your mouth is God's brothel.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
