There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
how drunk are you?
Several
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
