Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
