I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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