its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
