Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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