So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
