Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
