We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
