We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
