I'm going to rape someone's good day.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
