whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
