peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
