grandma shit on top of the toilet
farters have to be the big spoon...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The best revenge is premature balding
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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