So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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