I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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