the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
