I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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