I just cut my nipple shaving
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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