kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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