You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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