I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you had me at cake vodka
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
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