Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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