we're blogging at a bar
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
