if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
