i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
