We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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