Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
