do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
