Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
