Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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