You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
