1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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