tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
