Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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