its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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