Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
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