Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
