just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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