she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
