I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
