Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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