My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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