Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize